I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
