I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
