don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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