I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So vagazzling was a success
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
