We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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