i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
