Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
