You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
