Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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