Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
