Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
