Where are you?
In a non slutty way
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
ttyl tear gas
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
