Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
wow bdsm is so cute
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
