My first STD was from a foam party
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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