franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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