How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
