My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
