Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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