you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
