sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We are two peas in an std pod
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
