So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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