Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
