I just saw a hot homeless man
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
