I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
