i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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