We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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