I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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