then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
