It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
