It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
