Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
