Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
