She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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