I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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