i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
