So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
