Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
