So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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