My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
