theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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