I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
