Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
