remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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