How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
