Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
third nipple confirmed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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