You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
