Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
