Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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