ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
