Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
