Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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